When a child falls, how might we instinctively react? We might say, “It’s okay. You’ll be okay” to try to put them at ease.
Have we ever heard someone say, “kids are resilient; don’t worry, they bounce back easier than adults do”? Why might that be?
As children, we may be adventurous and take risks more often without saying, “I can’t. What if I get hurt”?
The moment kids take a tumble, tears often well up in their tiny little eyes and we may do our best to make them laugh instead. As they get a little older, when they fall laughter can become a more frequent resilient response.
As grown-ups, we may try to protect our children from getting hurt whenever possible, distracting them from what feels bad to focus on what feels good, right? We may encourage them to try what may feel uncomfortable so they learn new things.
Why might this feel harder for us to do for ourselves as we get older?
When something happens to us as adults that may be perceived as hurtful or bad, do we cry or do we laugh? Are we reluctant or ready to try what feels uncomfortable?
Instead of giving in to the tears, how might it feel if we emphasize what feels positive, like when we were kids, to help us bounce back quickly?
During our childhood, we had grown-ups to help us feel protected, cared for, and loved.
What might make it feel problematic to maintain that feeling of security and flexibility as we become in charge of ourselves as adults? What might we want to experience instead?
Several years ago, I became aware that my perspective of “falling” might’ve become a bit skewed. Instead of submitting to the everyday stressors that life seems to have an endless supply of, I realized it was easier to reconnect with my childhood resilience and remember how to laugh even when it feels like it hurts. Now when I take a fall, a.k.a.- life happens, rather than trying to eliminate the stress, I focus on how to react to the things I can’t control with a positive perspective.
Though it may not be possible to remove tension completely, it can be possible to restructure how we respond to pressure.
It’s so much easier now to ‘bounce back’, laugh, and move forward. The innocence and resilience of my youth have become the strength and determination in my adult life to be more self-responsible. This transformed outlook enables me, as an adult, to protect, care for, and love myself in an even more empowering way than I experienced as a child.
“It’s not how we fall. It’s how we get back up again.” ~Patrick Ness.
The next time we or someone we know “falls”, maybe re-examining our viewpoint of the situation might help us “bounce back” in a wonderful new way we didn’t realize that we could.
If we could redesign how we “get back up again”, as adults, what might feel most important about this? Who else might benefit from this more resilient perspective?
How might establishing some “ME” time help reinforce our ability to get back up stronger, if we happen to fall?
Today, on “ME” Monday®, it’s the day we can schedule something special for ourselves to help support our resilience so we can bounce back even better than we might’ve been able to do yesterday.
By implementing a “ME” Monday® routine today, we can have a great today to determine the tomorrow we deserve!